In this post we’re going to discuss one aspect you have to master if you want to meet a lot of women on dating sites – getting women’s phone numbers.

Getting a woman’s number is very easy when you know what you’re doing, and damn near impossible when you don’t.

There’s more to it than just sending a quick, “What’s your number?”

Consistently getting women’s phone numbers boils down to doing three things well:

1.    Attracting or making her curious enough to respond to your email
2.    Qualifying her
3.    Asking for her number the right way

If you mess up any of these three parts, you’re chances of getting a woman’s phone number go way down. But when you get them right, you’ll be rewarded with easily being able to get the phone numbers of the women you’re most attracted to.

Attracting Women Online

If women gave their numbers to every guy that asked, their phones would be ringing non-stop.

To prevent that, women only give their numbers to men they are interested in. I know this seems painfully obvious, but a lot of guys just don’t get that point.

Probably the easiest way to attract women online is by making them laugh. Injecting humor into your emails and your profile is a sure way to get a woman to look twice at you.

I’m not going to go into how to be funny in your emails and profile right now since the topic of this post is getting women’s phone numbers, but just know that you can leverage humor in your emails big time. (For some tips on how to inject humor into your profile and emails, check out this article How to Make Women Laugh.)

The easiest way to make a woman curious about you is to leave something incomplete in her mind. It could be a comment you made to her or something in your profile.

Make women dig a little. Bait her a little bit and then make her come after you to find out the rest.

For the purposes of this blog post, let’s say you’ve attracted a woman or stroked her curiosity enough to get her to respond to your email (or even email you first).

The next thing you’ve got to do is qualify her.

Qualifying A Woman – Making Her Pass Your Tests

One interesting thing I’ve discovered online is if you ask a woman for her number right after she has emailed you, you greatly decrease your chances of getting her number.

You can still get a woman’s phone number that way if you’ve attracted her enough, but your results will be a fraction of what they could be if you qualified her first.

What does qualifying a woman mean? The way I’m using this word, qualifying means to put a woman through a quick screening process to make sure she’s worth your time.

At its core, qualifying a woman just lets her know a pretty face and boobs aren’t enough to make you fall over yourself for her.

Contrast that with what most guys do online. The moment a woman contacts them they act desperate, doing everything they can to avoid losing the woman.

They do this not because the woman is so special, but because they’re afraid of not being able to get another woman.

Don’t do that. Don’t be that guy. Allow a woman to earn her place in your life and she’ll choose to stick around.

You might be thinking, “But how do I email a woman first without showing too much interest in her?”

After I’ve emailed a woman and she thinks I’m interested in her, and then she responds, I do a 180 on her and begin qualifying her rather than showing more interest in her.

I don’t come out and directly say “Why should I talk to you?” or, “What makes you special?” but I ask questions that let her know she hasn’t hooked me yet.

We’ll get to what kind of questions I ask in just a moment, but let me emphasize that the tone of how you ask the questions is more important than the words you use.

For clarity, let’s recap what I’ve done so far.

I’ve emailed a woman and she emailed back, which means she is interested on some level (unless you get a “Thanks, but…” email). At that point she’s expecting me to email her back and show more interest in her like every other guy does.

But this is where things change; this is where I qualify her.

Instead of showing more interest in the woman, I qualify her by asking questions, which we’ll get to in just a moment.

Emails That Get Women’s Numbers Online

Let’s do a quick recap. The three critical things you must do to get a woman’s phone number online are:
1.    you must attract or make her curious enough to respond to your email
2.    you must qualify her
3.    you must ask for her number the right way

Now I’m going to give you some emails that show you exactly how to get a woman’s number.

When a woman responds to my email, as long as she doesn’t send a “Thanks, but…” email, I’ll send her an email like this.

************************************************
**MY EMAIL RESPONSE TO HER FIRST EMAIL**

Hey [Her name],

Thanks for your email. [Briefly address what she said in her email.]

Anyway, I’ve got some questions for you:

- Question #1

- Question #2

- Question #3

[Your name]

************************************************

The purpose of this email is to qualify her by asking her a few questions.

After receiving a response from a woman, most guys will immediately ask for her number. That’s an amateur move and why most guys don’t get very many numbers.

If a woman is already really attracted to you based on your looks or your profile, she might give you her number when you ask for it immediately like that.

But most times women won’t give their number that quickly simply because they don’t have a reason to yet. Once again, if women gave their numbers to every guy that asked, they would be bombarded with phone calls from a bunch of guys they’re not interested in.

Instead of asking for her number so quickly, take a step back by asking her a few questions.

The questions can be simple and are better if they are entertaining. For example, questions about current favorite songs, best vacation, and favorite movies are all good questions because they are simple to answer and are interesting.

The point of the questions is to get her to invest more in you, and show her you’re not too eager; that she hasn’t won you over yet.

This immediately differentiates you from most guys online.

After she answers your questions, what’s next?

If she’s asked you some questions too, you can quickly answer them. Be interesting but don’t get too wordy.

The next thing you’ll do is ask for her number. How you ask for her number is critical. Here’s how to do it right:

************************************************
**ASKING FOR HER NUMBER**

Hi [Her name],

It sounds like you have a pretty varied taste in music. That’s cool since most people have a one-dimensional taste and are pretty boring. [Simply acknowledge her answers to your questions, but you don’t have to address all of them.]

[Briefly but interestingly answer her questions if she had any.]

It sounds like you have some interesting conversation in you, so I’d like to find out more. Let’s grab a drink – what’s your cell?

[Your name]

************************************************

I did two very powerful things in this email.

The first thing I did was indirectly qualify her again. I did this by saying “it sounds like you have some interesting conversation in you, so I’d like to find out more.” That’s another way of saying she has earned the privilege to give you her number.

What’s she going to say, “No, I don’t have anything interesting to say.” It’s a compliment at face value, but only if she gives her number. Very clever and very effective.

The second powerful psychological tactic I used was asking for her number almost as an afterthought.

Most guys make asking the woman for her number the climax of the email. What I’ve done instead is made the fun of having an interesting conversation and having a drink together the climax, and her phone number is just a detail to make that happen.

I’ve shown you some very powerful psychology here so you can use it to write the email in your own words.

Your Turn

That’s how to ask a woman for her number and get it.

I’ve given you a very simple formula here that is very effective. Use it.

Once you get good at getting women’s phone numbers, all that’s left is a quick phone call to get a feel for each other on the phone and then set up a time and place to meet up in person.

We’ll talk about what to say on the phone in future posts, but for now, go implement what I’ve shown you to get some phone numbers.

Brandon Duran

This entry was posted on January 28, 2010 at 9:22 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.