Meeting women online can be extremely frustrating when you’re not getting any responses, but it can be even more frustrating when you’re getting responses but nothing is panning out.

Once you get good at getting responses, the next step is converting those responses to phone numbers and then meeting up with the women.

The biggest hurdle to get over is getting women to respond to your emails. After you’ve gotten passed that hurdle, the other steps are fairly easy.

Having said that, there are lots of women who will respond to your emails but won’t go any further. Why is that?

There are a variety of reasons.

First, it’s possible the woman is not interested. Some women will send a polite response to you since you took the time to email them.

These women will usually let you know in some way they are not interested, even if it’s only to tell you thank you for your email but they have met someone else.

When a woman does that, thank her and move on.

Trying to convince uninterested women they should give you a chance is almost never worth your time. Be glad she’s weeded herself out and saved you a lot of time.

There are other women on dating sites only to get attention from men. It’s fun and validating for a woman to open her inbox and see that she has a bunch of emails from guys who are interested in her. It’s an ego boost.

But most of those women stop there, at the email stage.

For whatever reason, they decide it’s more fun to get a bunch of attention through email rather than meeting guys in person.

In fact, there is a book written by a woman who was on various dating sites for eight years, titled Confessions of An Online Dating Addict.

One of the topics she discussed in the book was how she found it more exciting to get the attention of men emailing her than going out with any of them.

She was on dating sites for the thrill of being the center of attention rather than actually trying to meet someone.

For guys trying to meet women on dating sites, this kind of behavior can be very frustrating and time consuming.

So it’s very important to recognize when a woman only wants to play email tag.

The time you waste on women who only want attention and nothing more is time you can’t spend with women who are actually interested in more.

I have a name for women that only want to email back and forth without ever going to the next level: Email Queens.

Email Queens are women that have fun messing around online, but who you will never meet in real life.

My guess is that Email Queens do meet up with a few guys, but they find meeting up with those guys much less validating than the attention they get from hundreds of men emailing them.

How To Spot An Email Queen

A woman who is not interested and sends an email back to you will either let you know straight up she’s not interested for whatever reason or will let you down gently.

An uninterested woman will not keep emailing you again and again because she doesn’t want to keep getting emails from you.

Contrast that with an Email Queen will continue to email you even when she’s not interested.

The easiest way to spot an Email Queen is to recognize when she keeps responding to your emails but never goes to the next level.

For example, let’s say you email back and forth with a woman and then ask for her number. She then responds to your email, but doesn’t give you her number.

So you ask for her number in a different way. She emails you back again, doesn’t mention her number, but asks more questions or just corresponds with you.

That is an Email Queen. She has zero interest in anything but consuming your time and receiving emails from you.

About 10-15% of the women I email end up being Email Queens.

Some Email Queens can be very tricky too since they will flirt with you to keep you emailing. You might even get a number, but you’ll be playing the same games with them on the phone if they ever answer.

ScienceDaily.com had an article a while back about a study published in the journal Psychological Science aimed at deciphering when a person is interested in the person they are on a date with.

In the study they found some women are very good at faking interest and will sometimes even flirt with men they aren’t interested in. Even other women had trouble figuring out when some women were faking attraction.

This emphasizes how hard it can be to decipher when a woman is truly interested versus a woman that is just emailing you back for attention.

If you use the technique I gave you above though, you’ll quickly be able to tell if a woman is interested in your or just playing games.

It comes down to her response. If you give her multiple opportunities to go to the next level, and she never accepts but keeps emailing you, you’re dealing with an Email Queen.

Beating The Email Queen At Her Own Game

One reason it’s so important to quickly identify when you’re dealing with an Email Queen is because of how much of your time they can waste. The time you spend playing games with Email Queens is time you can’t spend with women who are genuinely interested in you.

The best thing to do when you recognize you’re dealing with an Email Queen is stop all correspondence with her. Do not hope that you’ll be able to somehow get her to the next step, because you won’t.

If you continue to email her, she will just suck up more of your time and frustrate you.

Women that are interested in you don’t do that. They make it easy for you to get their number and then to meet up with them.

The more time you focus on women that are actually interested in you, the more success you’ll have on dating sites, and the more fun you’ll have.

Brandon Duran

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This entry was posted on March 8, 2010 at March 8, 2010 and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.