To some guys, getting good with women means being able to seduce any woman, any time, any place.

That is not realistic and only makes getting better with women harder, not easier.

A few years ago I found some guys on the internet that claimed to be very good with women. Some of these guys claimed to be so good with women that they could get any woman, any time, any place.

In fact, one of those guys claimed that you can’t consider yourself good with women until you successfully seduce 10 women out of 10 women you approach.

In other words, in that guy’s eyes, you’ve got to be able to successfully seduce any woman you ever approach.

Back then I was just trying to figure out how to approach and start conversations with women, so setting my goal with women as 10 for 10 seemed like a pretty tough hill to climb.

That made meeting and talking to women that much harder for me because I felt like I couldn’t mess up at all.

Now, years later, and much more successful with women and dating, I can guarantee you that none of the guys claiming to be able to successfully seduce every woman they go after actually can. Not a single one of them.

How do I know this?
Even A-List Celebrities Get Rejected
There have been well publicized stories of A-list celebrities that have dated some of the most beautiful women in the world getting rejected by other women. One such example was when Colin Farrell got rejected by Meghan Lowther.

Colin Farrell has dated many gorgeous women, so considering even he, an A-list celebrity (or close enough), gets turned down occasionally, how could you hold yourself to the unreasonable standard of getting every woman you talk to?

The point is even men most women drool over get rejected occasionally.

To hold yourself to a standard that you have to get every woman you approach is not only unrealistic, it could be holding you back from dating the women you’re most attracted to because you’ll be afraid of failing with them.

Rather than approaching those women and knowing you might not be successful, you instead move on to women you are more likely to succeed with, but who aren’t as attractive as the other women you’re afraid to fail with.
Rejection Can Devour A Man’s Courage
You’re probably well aware of and accept the fact that you won’t get every woman you talk to. However, when you get rejected it still stings and consumes your thoughts for the rest of day, week, or even longer.

That feeling can eat you up inside and consume your thoughts to the point you end up not approaching other women.

When you let rejection get under your skin or psyche, it not only ruins the opportunities that come your way while you’re beating yourself up, but it also makes you shy or hesitate the next time you talk to a woman.

You end up getting in a protective mode where you do everything you can to avoid getting rejected, which ultimately means you don’t take any risks with a woman, such as asking for her number.

When that happens the fear of rejection rules your mind rather than thoughts of having fun with a woman, playfully teasing her, and attracting her.

When fear of rejection becomes so bad it rules your mind, it can screw up a lot of opportunities you have with new women and also prevent you from getting to the next level with women you’re currently dating.
Moving Beyond Rejection
The take-home lesson is to be comfortable getting rejected from time to time because it will happen. If you never get rejected, you’re not talking to enough women or you’re not talking to hot women. Period.

If you haven’t dated very much you’ll probably get rejected more at first, but you can use those early rejections as guide posts that show you what not to do the next time.

Think of rejection as free coaching from hot women on the topic of what not to do with them.

As you get better with women you’ll experience less and less rejection. However, you still must accept that rejection will bare its face sooner or later, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

If you’ve been holding off on emailing the women you’re really attracted to on dating sites because you have a feeling you’ll instantly get blown out, email those women anyway. Take a chance and learn from the experience.

You’ll end up dating some fantastic women that most guys are afraid to talk to or email, and you’ll also learn not what to do as well. It’s a win-win situation.

Brandon Duran

I just read an email from a woman who apologized for taking a few days to get back to me. She had been really busy at work the previous week and hadn’t logged onto the dating site during that time.

When she finally logged on she found more than 40 new emails from guys!

What’s interesting is even though more than 40 other guys emailed her, she took the time to write me a long and thoughtful email. It was obvious to me she had read my entire profile and my other emails to her.

She probably emailed a few other guys back too, but most of those other 40 + guys’ emails got deleted after she skimmed them.

So how did I get this woman to respond when there were so many other guys that got ignored?

The answer is simple…
The Competition On Dating Sites Sucks!

Their emails suck, their mindsets suck, their profiles suck, they don’t know what to say once they get a woman on the phone, and if by chance they do get a woman out on a date, they blow it.

The competition sucks so badly because they see online dating as one big crap shoot where you either get lucky or you don’t.

They never realize there is a series of small steps for going from first emailing a woman to getting her phone number to meeting her in person, and that each step can be learned and mastered one at a time.

So rather than making their profile and emails as strong as they could be and using that system over and over, they send out random emails and pray for responses.

The easiest way to be successful on dating sites is to focus on each step one at a time. First you work on getting women to respond to your emails, then getting phone numbers, then getting dates, and so on.

By focusing on conversion during each of those steps one at a time, you greatly increase your chances of getting women to respond to your emails and ultimately meeting them in person.

However, the fact remains that there are still a lot of other guys online that women have to choose from. So how can you differentiate yourself from all the competition?

The Secret To Destroying Your Competition

Destroying your competition on dating sites boils down to one core principle: attract the woman and your competition will disappear.

It sounds obvious, but most guys forget that women get on dating sites to meet men they are attracted to. When a woman is attracted to you, she’ll make getting to know her easy and she’ll naturally ignore the competition.

The converse of the principle above is that if you can’t attract a woman, you’re not going to get anywhere with her. In other words, you’ll be one of the guys she ignores.

So how do you attract women on dating sites?

There are three primary ways to attract women on dating sites:

•    Make women laugh
•    Demonstrate confidence
•    Differentiate yourself from every other guy in an interesting way

Making a woman laugh is the easiest way to attract her online. It demonstrates that you’re fun and you don’t take yourself too seriously, as well as showing a woman that she would probably have a good time with you in person too.

Making women laugh also makes them comfortable. Don’t downplay that. There are scores of awkward guys on dating sites that make women cringe, not only with their emails, but on the phone or in person too.

Demonstrating confidence makes a woman feel safe, and shows her that you can handle any situation that may present itself. And really, what woman wants a meek man anyway?

Women are naturally wired to be attracted to confident guys. Men who are confident are comfortable in their own skin and tend to get what they want. That is very attractive to most women.

It’s very easy to confuse cockiness with confidence though, especially online. Cockiness is a turnoff to most women.

There is a simple trick to coming across as confident rather than cocky. Confident guys don’t try to impress other people, while the sole intention of cocky guys is to impress others or get a rise out of them.

Express yourself and your views comfortably without worrying about how a woman or others will judge you. When you do that in a tactful and charming way, you’ll come across as confident every time.

The last way to attract women online is to differentiate yourself from all of the other guys in an interesting way.

This comes down to expressing what’s important to you and what your life is about. The easiest way to do this is by talking about your passions.

Talking about your passions with energy excites other people and makes them feel alive, like there is so much more to experience and enjoy in life.

When you can make a woman feel alive, you’ve got her attention and the competition withers away because all they have to talk about is the same boring crap everyone else talks about.

You don’t have to do a bunch of extraordinary or exciting activates to come across as interesting. Simply express your life in an interesting way. If you don’t know how to do that, study your favorite authors and how they make everyday details come alive.

Remember to also clearly express what you’re looking for in a woman. It’s counter intuitive, but the clearer you are in your description of what you’re looking for, the more attractive it is to women.

Describing your type of women is attractive to all women, even when they’re not your type because it demonstrates that you know what you want and you expect to get it.

Most guys are willing to accept any woman that will say yes, so when you demonstrate that you have standards, you’ll instantly stick out in a good way.

I want to leave you with one last thought from a woman about the competition on dating sites.

Straight From A Woman’s Mouth

I was on a date with a woman the other night and one of the topics that came up was how many guys are on dating sites. She asked me what I thought about all of the competition I’m “up against.”

I laughed and asked said, “What competition?” I could tell by her body language she thought I was just being cocky, so I explained what I meant.

I told her I don’t have to worry about the competition because they blow it all by themselves the moment they open their mouths to women.

She started laughing and then said, “Fine, I guess you’re right.”

Don’t let the competition hold you back from getting what you want on dating sites. If you’re interested in a woman, email her.

When a woman reads your emails after reading a bunch of boring emails from other guys, she’ll know instantly that you get it, and she’ll make it easy for you to get to know her.

Follow the tips I gave you above and don’t worry about the competition because they’ll mess it up with women all by themselves without you ever having to “compete” with them.

The tons of clueless guys on dating sites actually help you to stand out that much more once you know what you’re doing. Imagine that, the competition online actually helps you meet more women.

Brandon Duran