Getting women to respond to emails is the biggest hurdle most guys struggle with online. The common belief is that if you can just get passed this one hurdle, you could meet a lot of women online, and this belief is true in many ways.

Getting responses to your emails allows you to get phone numbers, and once you get phone numbers you’ll be able to get dates. Getting responses your emails is what gets the ball rolling.

Let’s start at the beginning.

Here’s a scenario for you:

You’ve spent hours looking over tens of women’s profiles online and have found a woman that is both beautiful and sounds like she has her life together. She doesn’t sound clingy, she works out often, she has a great job, and she sounds really happy about her life, so you decide to email her.

You read her profile over and over looking for the best angle to start your email. By the time you’re finished writing the email and revised it 20 times, another hour has passed.

You believe the time crafting that one email was well spent because it is funny and, based on her profile, is exactly what she said she wants in a guy. You think she will definitely respond.

You hit the Send button and go grab something to eat.

A half-hour later you come back and log back into the dating site. She hasn’t read your email let alone replied to it. “No problem,” you think, “she hasn’t even had a chance to see it.”

You check the dating site before you go to bed and she still hasn’t read it.

You check the site again in the morning when you get to work (or school) and she hasn’t read it yet.

You log back in when you get home for the day and she still hasn’t read your email yet.

Two days go by and she finally read your email, but she still hasn’t responded.

You hold out hope for a few more days but slowly come to the realization she is not going to respond.

This whole process – where you spend hours crafting emails and women don’t respond to them – repeats itself over and over until you are completely frustrated with online dating.

Let’s get to the root issue why women don’t respond to your emails.

Why Women Don’t Respond to Your Emails

Online dating seems like a great invention. Thousands of single women in every major city have all gathered in one place to let guys know they are single and want to mingle.

But if those women don’t respond to emails, why do they even waste their time signing up for dating sites? Is it just for attention? Is it to tease guys?

Just because a woman is ready to meet and date new guys doesn’t mean all of her standards go out the door. Every woman has a picture of a guy she wants to meet and date just as every guy has preferences for the women he is interested in.

Having said that, many women are open to meeting many different types of guys (see Women’s Secret Fantasy Guy).

But even though most women have a range of guys they are attracted to, the guys still have to attract them.

So the logical deduction is if a woman doesn’t respond to your emails, that you haven’t attracted her (enough).

There are also times when a woman won’t respond to your emails based on something you said in your profile or emails that turned her off. A good example of this is being negative. Negativity is universally unattractive.

So the starting point at getting a woman to respond to your emails is to attract her.

How to Get Women to Respond to Your Emails

The most effective and easiest way to attract women that you have control over on dating sites is with humor. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: If you can make a woman laugh and move the interaction forward, you will never go dateless again.

If you don’t know how to make women laugh, see How To Make Women Laugh Even If You’re Not Funny.

To give you an example of the kind of humor that attracts women online, here is an email I wrote and used a few years ago that was effective at getting responses:

===========================================

I emailed you a few days ago and never heard back from you.

I’m guessing you were on a flying squirrel hunting expedition
and your bag was only big enough for your blow-dart gun and
two bologna sandwiches, so you didn’t have access to the
internet.

Since you made it back safely from your trip, we should talk.
Let’s get together for a drink.

Brandon [your name]

===========================================

The above email should be used only as a starting point. I recommend split testing your emails to get more responses.

I got the inspiration to write that email from Dave M. of Insider Internet Dating. Some of his information is pretty valuable and I plan to do a full review on his product in an upcoming article.

If a woman doesn’t respond to the above email, try another approach in your third email, but it still needs to be funny.

Three emails is the stopping point for me. If I have sent a woman three emails and she hasn’t responded, I will not send her anymore emails.

I have experimented with sending women more than three emails, but I always find those women are very difficult to connect with on the phone and in person.

I believe the reason for that is because they were never very attracted to me in the first place. Those women simply decided to give me their number because my emails were much better than the crap other guys were sending.

When to Send This Email

I would send the above email to a woman after she didn’t respond to my first email.

Give a woman a chance to respond to your first email before sending the above email though.

If you send a woman an email and she doesn’t respond, wait three days before sending her another email. For example, if you sent a woman an email on Wednesday night, and she didn’t respond, wait until Saturday to send her another email.

In conclusion, in this article we discussed what to do to get women to respond to your emails. I gave you a word-for-word email that has worked well for me in the past at getting responses from women.

But remember, this email is just a starting point. Look at the structure of the humor and use it develop your own emails. Split test it against emails you create and over time you will start getting more and more responses to your emails.

On more thing, realize that you will not get every woman to respond to your emails. Online dating is a numbers game, just like any other venue for meeting women.

But you can make online dating a smart numbers game by using proven material, like the email above, and split testing to get better responses. It’s up to you make that happen now.

In fact, why don’t you make your own email to test against the one I gave you, and then split test them tonight to see which emails pulls more responses?

Brandon Duran

This entry was posted on December 6, 2010 at 10:15 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.