If you’re not familiar with routines, they are entertaining stories or jokes that have been proven to work at getting an intended result.

For example, an intended result of using a routine at a certain point in conversation might be to make a woman laugh or gain rapport with her.

Routines have been successfully used to help guys who get tongue tied around women to start and keep conversations going.

Rather than having to come up with unique material every time you talk to a new woman, you could use a proven routine to break the ice or to get a laugh. Used that way, routines can be very helpful when meeting new women.

However, using routines to meet women can very quickly go from being helpful to making it harder to connect with women.

Rather than using routines to transition into a normal conversation, some guys keep routines going, one after another, until they run out of material or until the woman leaves.

If the woman sticks around until the end of the routines, she will notice a stark contrast from a guy who was charming and funny at first to a guy who quickly becomes quiet or weird. At that point she will leave.

This is why basing your game plan for meeting women only on routines is a recipe for failure.

If your goal is to not only meet and date beautiful women, but to also keep them in your life longer than just a night or two, you’re going to have to evolve your game beyond routines and other psychological tricks because their effects are short lasting.

A Better Way to Meet Women

Like I said, routines can be very helpful if you have no idea what to say when meeting new women, but after you get the conversation going it’s necessary to become yourself again.

You can do that by emphasizing parts of your personality that women find naturally attractive.

For some guys that means cracking jokes and getting laughs, for other guys that might be talking about their passions.

Not being afraid to share (and expose) your personality comes across as being confident and comfortable with yourself, which most women want in a man and find attractive.

The goal is to express your personality in a way that highlights those attractive qualities.

So, rather than depending on routines to get a woman attracted to you, use a routine or two to break the ice and then get things rolling with your personality.

Sure, you’ll lose some women, but you will connect much better with the women who do stick around.

If you’re just learning to start conversations with new women it is fine to use a routine or two, but learn why the routine works at getting a laugh or breaking the ice and then take something from your life that accomplishes the same thing.

Do that enough and you’ll quickly learn how to leverage your personality in an attractive way to meet women and you’ll never “run out of material” again.

Brandon Duran

I’ve had a few guys ask what I thought of becoming a Serious Member on POF, so I wanted to take just a minute to give my opinions on becoming a Serious Member.

What is a Serious Member?

There are two types of members on POF – regular and serious.

Regular members can email other members of POF as well as read emails from other members.

Serious Members (Platinum Members) can do everything regular members of POF can do, but get some added benefits, which we’ll talk about in just a moment.

To become a Serious Member, you must first take a multiple-choice questionnaire and based on your answers, be judged as looking for a serious relationship rather than casual dating and just meeting new people.

If you are judged to be looking for something more serious from POF, you have the option to become a Serious Member. The prices for becoming a Serious Member range from $5.95 to $9.95, depending on the length of membership you sign up for.

Even if you aren’t determined to be looking for a relationship or something more serious, based on the questionnaire, you can still become a Serious Member if you’re willing to pay the monthly fee.

POF has given away free subscriptions for becoming a Serious Member to women in the past, and might still be doing so.

What do you get for your money?

When you become a Serious Member, a golden (or platinum) badge will be displayed on your profile letting everyone know that you are “serious.”

Little golden badges will also be displayed next to your subject line when you email someone and next to your thumbnail when your profile picture is displayed in the photo lineup at the top of various POF screens.

When your profile blurb is displayed among search results your profile will also have a gold background to distinguish you from regular members of POF.

Your profile will be displayed at the top of local search results if you are a Serious Member. POF claims that by displaying your profile at the top of the results that your profile will be seen more often and will receive up to nine times more “first contact” emails.

As a Serious Member you’ll be able to have up to 16 pictures on your profile (rather than being limited to only seven). You’ll also get credits so you can send other members gifts as well as change your profile theme.

You will also be able to see if women you emailed opened your email.

Is Becoming a Serious Member on POF Worth It?

Having a badge on your profile that says Serious Member lets it be known that you are serious about meeting someone with whom to have a long-term relationship with and possibly get married to.

That could be seen as desirable to a very small minority to women on POF, but it is more likely to make you look a little desperate.

Most attractive women have many guys orbiting them who would be willing to commit in a heartbeat. So a badge indicating you could potentially be another orbiter ready to propose isn’t going to make you more attractive.

As I mentioned earlier, there is a small number of women on POF (or any dating site for that matter) looking for a husband. And that Serious Member badge could help you meet more of these women.

But rather than sending out the bat signal that you’re looking to get married tomorrow, wouldn’t it be better to find out your compatibility with someone first?

And I’m sure there are some attractive women looking to get married soon, but I’m guessing that most of the women that are looking to get married tomorrow would probably not be your first choice.

Beyond that, it gives me the chills to realize there are women out there for whom the title of being married is more important than the person they are actually married to.

So do I think it’s necessary to become a Serious Member to meet women on POF? Absolutely not.

And even if you are looking for a relationship, all you have to do is check the box labeled “Relationship” for the profile question asking what kind of interactions you’re seeking on the website.

What About the Other Benefits of Becoming a Serious Member?

Being able to determine if your emails were opened could help you out when you are split testing your emails.

But if you’re emailing women you know are active on the site, it is very likely your email will be opened as long as your email subject line is something other than “Hi” or some derivative of that.

You can determine if a woman you emailed has been active on the site by looking in “Sent Msg” under the column for “Last Online.” That will tell you the last time a woman was online.

Some searches also display when a woman was last active on the site.

As far as the other “benefits” of becoming a Serious Member, such as credits for sending other members gift or changing your theme, they are useless.

Those benefits are not going to help you meet more women.

As to the claims made by POF that you will receive up to nine times more “first contact” emails, that could definitely be useful if it is true, which I don’t know whether it is or not.

Regardless, my strategy for meeting women online isn’t based around which women email me first, it’s based around which women I want to meet and subsequently email.

Being able to display a few more pictures on your profile would be cool, but it’s not worth $6 bucks a month to me to do that.

In conclusion, I do not recommend becoming a Serious Member on POF.

Please remember this article was only about a paid premium membership on POF.

Paying for a membership on Match.com is still worth it because you can’t send or read emails without paying, and there are so many attractive women on there.

If it was possible to read and send emails on Match.com without paying, you can be damn sure I wouldn’t be paying there either.

Brandon Duran

Most guys do they exact opposite when trying to get better with women – they do the same things over and over that aren’t working, but continue doing them anyway.

Doing everything you can to avoid making mistakes will make you weaker in relationships with women.

You will do little things that tell a woman you’re deathly afraid of losing her. This of course makes you less attractive in a woman’s eyes because you end up looking insecure and needy.

Nothing Happens Until Something Moves

Even if you’re not sure what to do in a situation, making the wrong move is usually better than not making any move at all.

Making the wrong move helps you get better because you’ll continually be pointed in the right direction. You’ll learn what works and what doesn’t, and because you’re learning by doing, those lessons will stick with you.

While reading Cashflow Quadrant by Robert Kiyosaki, I came across a passage that relates perfectly to my point about making mistakes.

Most people think, but they never do. If you do something, you make mistakes, and it’s from our mistakes that we learn the most. Remember that anything important cannot really be learned in the classroom. It must be learned by taking action, making mistakes, and then correcting them. That is when wisdom sets in.

Here is another quote from Cashflow Quadrant about learning from your mistakes:

[Successful investors] have a long track record of winning on a consistent basis, and they have had enough losses that give them the wisdom that only comes from making mistakes and learning from them.

The points Robert made and the lesson I’m conveying is you must become comfortable with making mistakes. It is those mistakes that will teach you what to do and what not to do in order to get what you want.

Fumbling on the One Yard Line

I remember a few years ago when I was making a lot of mistakes on my way to getting better at meeting and dating women. There were lots of fumbles on the one yard line, but those mistakes were more valuable to me than if I had lucked my way into success rather than earning it.

There is a saying you may have heard that goes something like this, “Steady seas make bad sailors.”

If you luck your way into a relationship with a beautiful woman and she leaves you, you won’t know how to get another woman in your life. And that crushes the self-esteem of some guys for years or even a lifetime.

But if you earned your success with women by making and learning from mistakes, you’ll know what to do to get another beautiful woman in your life.

If you’re making a lot of mistakes right now, rather than getting frustrated, realize it is the lessons you’re learning right now that will point you in the right direction to success with women.

I’m not saying to make random mistakes just to learn from them. Rather, use your experience to make the best call and then take action even if you’re not sure you’re making the right move or not.

If you get what you want, continue down that path. If not, go back a step or two before things fell apart and try something different the next time you’re in a similar situation.

How to Get Here Yourself

In my articles I give you lessons that were critical to my journey in getting better with women. I made a lot of mistakes on my way to learning these lessons.

By reading my articles you’ll grasp the lesson, but it’s not until you experience the lesson yourself that you’ll learn it.

So go try some new things. If you’re putting in an honest effort but still aren’t getting any results, try something completely different.

It was the times where I was stuck scratching my head the hardest that I tried some oddball approach that ended up working.

And if you’re almost where you want to be with women but you keep “fumbling on the one yard line,” keep pushing because you’re probably much closer than you think.

Make some new mistakes and let me know it goes. And if you can’t get passed a particular hurdle, let me know that too.

Brandon Duran

The best thing about meeting women online though is that it allows you to meet women you never would have come across otherwise.

But just as there are good things about meeting women online, there are some bad things too.

The Biggest Problem Most Guys on Dating Sites Suffer Through

The biggest problem most guys face when meeting women online is the part where they actually meet women; they just can’t seem to transition to meeting women in the real world. And that causes a lot of frustration.

For some guys, not getting any responses or phone numbers makes them angry to the point that they vent on women through email by bitching them out or calling them names.

You’ve probably even seen women state in their profile that if they don’t respond it’s not personal and you don’t have to call them names or send rude emails.

Not only will bitching women out not help you meet women (hopefully that’s obvious), it’s also unhealthy, both for the person doing the bitching and the person that receives those kinds of emails.

Why Do Those Guys Respond Like That?

So why do some guys bitch women out or call them names when they don’t get responses to their emails or phone calls?

I’m sure there are all kinds of reasons, but probably the biggest is that it’s a way to vent frustration.

There are much healthier ways to vent frustration though, such as going to the gym or jogging.

When a woman doesn’t respond to your emails or phone calls, she is not the problem, nor is she a bitch or tease. The problem is what you’re doing.

There is a lot of competition on dating sites for beautiful women. That’s not going to change.

That competition along with not getting responses from women on dating sites drives many guys to quit for good.

I’ll be completely honest, for guys who don’t get any results but keep doing the same things over and over, it might be better if they just gave up. It would save them both time and frustration.

I’m guessing you’re not the kind of guy who keeps doing the same things over and over that don’t work though.

Be Different

If what you’re doing isn’t getting you what you want, it’s time to try something different.

That could mean rewording your emails, rewriting your profile, putting different pictures on your profile, calling a woman at a different time of the day, or any other number of things.

The point is if what you’re doing is not working, and that’s frustrating you, try something different. If you keep trying new things, odds are something will work for you.

I once heard the reason most people don’t reach their goals is not that they aren’t good enough or that the competition is too great, rather it’s because most people just give up.

If you’re getting frustrated on dating sites because you aren’t getting the results you want, don’t blame women. In fact, don’t blame anyone. Simply try something different than what you’ve been trying.

Brandon Duran

These featured profiles or emails might include the whole profile or just snippets, but in each case they will demonstrate abnormal behavior that you want to avoid if you want to keep your sanity when meeting women on dating sites.

For guys new on dating sites, beauty can be very persuasive, regardless of personality. In other words, many guys can overlook a lot of personality flaws as long as a woman is beautiful.

That is not a problem until you find yourself on the receiving end of psychotic phone calls at three in the morning or when it’s guessing time at who vandalized your car (again).

After you have dated a bat shit crazy woman (or two), you realize it’s necessary to have more criteria for women you date than only that they look great on your arm.

The Goal of the Women to Avoid Series

The Women to Avoid series is all about helping you avoid women that have a very high probability of becoming a nightmare in your dating life.

Women included in the Women to Avoid series will remain nameless to protect their privacy and I ask that if you somehow come across these women’s profiles, that you respect their privacy by not calling them out or contacting them.

The first winner of the coveted “Women to Avoid” title is a woman who I like to call Miss Deal Breaker.

The type of women who embody the qualities of “Miss Deal Breaker” like to include a long list of things they find unacceptable in men. If you happen to have any of the qualities or habits listed in the “deal breaker list,” you are expressly instructed not to email these women.

The following excerpt is from Miss Deal Breaker’s profile. I have left it as she had it with the exception of adding in some spaces where necessary. Apparently, tapping the space bar after commas and before parenthetical expressions was just too time consuming for her.

Without further ado, I give you Miss Deal Breaker:

**UPDATE: If any of the following apply to you no need to read further and do NOT contact me**

-Habitual liar (I’m grown I dont have time for the drama lying brings, the truth may hurt, may be upset, but I will respect you more for having the balls to be honest)

-Shady (you have some huge drama happen to you everyday & use it as an excuse for d!ck!n me over)

-Hateful/Cruel (name calling, throwing sh*t in someone’s face, degrading/belittling someone, saying things out of anger or frustration, act like an adult and use some self control!)

-Say you will do something then dont follow through (my BIGGEST PET PEEV!!)

-Stand People Up (um yeah…)

-Dont call when you should: running late, say you may or may not come over, say you will call etc. (I know life happens but it takes 2 seconds to let someone know, dont leave someone hanging, its a respect thing people)

-Sadistic (if you go out of your way to hurt, get a rise, or play head games with someone to see if they care, all I gotta say is karma is a b!tch)

-If your fight or flight response is geared toward flight when things get rough, keep it moving (I want a MAN that has fight in him)

-Serial Texter (expecting to get to know, date, fall in love, fight,& breakup via text messages, you CANT know tone of voice, body language, facial expressions, emotions, SH*T CAN BE TAKEN WRONG!!)

-Don’t know how to treat a WOMAN (I am a grown ass woman dont pull the BS you run on girls with me)

-Can’t admit a mistake (you’re human I dont expect perfection, I do expect someone to admit when they messed up & do what it takes to make it right, as I would do the same)

-jealous (I want a man thats proud to have me on his arm & like that other guys are looking at what he’s got)

-Can’t communicate (seriously if u cant have a grown adult conversation to resolve an issue dont waste my time, I want a MAN that has a pair thank you very much

-ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!! (I know when to try harder and when to walk away, if you tell me you like me then treat me like sh*t I will be nothing but a memory)

I am REALLY easy to get along with as long as you treat me with respect. I am by no means bitter or a man hater just trying to weed out the boys from the MEN! So if you’ve made it this far CONGRATS you win the golden ticket lol

What a winner!

This list of deal breakers made up the majority of this woman’s profile, although she did include a few clichés that describe her personality, such as she loves to laugh and looks good in heels.

Other than that though, she leaned on her looks to get guys to respond to her. The problem with that is even if this woman has the looks of a super model (she doesn’t) you couldn’t pay me to deal with her childish personality and slanted view of the world.

The most telling thing in this woman’s profile isn’t her ridiculously long and unnecessary list of deal breakers, it’s at the end of her profile when she says, “I am REALLY easy to get along with.”

Yeah, sure you are cupcake.

From her list of things she won’t deal with, it sounds like she has dated a lot of guys with a lot of bad qualities. Whose fault is that? The answer is obvious, after all, she picked all those guys.

Is it fair for every guy she dates in the future to be punished by her past dating mistakes? Of course not. But any guy choosing to date this woman will pay for the past mistakes and bad habits of her previous dates and boyfriends.

One Other Thing We Can Learn from Miss Deal Breaker

I hope you enjoyed this first inclusion in the Women to Avoid series, and I want to leave you with one other thing we can learn from this woman.

Just as women who continually choose to date men with bad qualities can’t complain about those bad qualities (since they choose to date those men again and again), the converse is true as well.

If you continually date psychotic women with “daddy issues” or emotional problems, you can’t blame anyone but yourself after you’ve noticed the trend a few times.

The easy solution to this problem is to have higher standards for the women you date.

Brandon Duran

Most guys think Facebook is the best place to meet women online. That is also why most guys can’t meet any women online.
- Brandon Duran

Facebook has taken over the Internet and currently has something like 500 million users. At the time of this writing, Facebook is the second most visited website in the world (Google is still currently number one).

There are tons of beautiful women on Facebook, much more so than all the dating sites combined, so it seems like Facebook would be the ideal place to meet women.

Obstacle #1 for Meeting Women on Facebook

Even though there are so many women on Facebook, I still prefer meeting women on dating sites. Why? The answer comes down to the different intentions of women on Facebook versus dating sites.

Most women on dating sites have joined with one intention in mind – meeting people to date. In contrast, many women on Facebook might be open to meeting specific men, but that’s not why they are on there.

In other words, it takes a lot less effort and time to get a woman’s number and then move things offline on dating sites than it does on Facebook.

When you email a woman on a dating site, she knows exactly why you’re emailing her. You don’t have to spend weeks making small talk or IMing just to put in your time before asking for her number, like on Facebook.

On dating sites, after you have made a woman laugh with just an email or two (or even your profile), you can then pretty quickly get her number and then take things offline. The same cannot be said about Facebook.

Quickly asking women for their numbers on Facebook ends up making you look creepy or sleazy. And even in the cases where women don’t block you, they just evade giving you their number.

You can’t fault women for making it difficult to get their numbers on Facebook though. There are tons of losers every day that bombard them with phone number requests, which is why women have to be evasive about giving out their numbers on Facebook.

Intention is just one obstacle to meeting women on Facebook, but there is an even bigger one.

The Biggest Obstacle to Meeting Women on Facebook

To many women, especially women in their 20′s, Facebook is a popularity contest. This usually means whoever has the most and coolest friends wins.

This means when you “approach” a woman on Facebook, she will be judging not only you, but your entire social circle when deciding whether to give you her number or meet up with you.

You likely don’t spend hours on Facebook every day like many women do, and you probably don’t have hundreds or thousands of “friends” like many women do. Also, you likely don’t have five hundred photos on Facebook like many women do.

For a woman who is “Facebook Crazy,” all of that matters when deciding to give you her number or not, even if you can attract them with your emails. That’s a very big hurdle to get passed.

What I Personally Don’t Like about Meeting Women on Facebook

Since many women want to judge your social circle on Facebook like I described above, they will want to become friends. My problem with that is there are a lot of emotionally crazy women, and the last thing I want them having is a ton of personal information about me.

Becoming Facebook friends with new women especially becomes a problem when you’re dating multiple women. Getting tagged with when you’re out with various women you’re dating, in addition to comments left on your wall, can quickly cause problems and drama.

For me, the simple way around that problem is not becoming Facebook friends with women I hardly know or have just started dating.

Some people will say I can apply filters to allow new women to see only the bare minimum about me. I prefer to spend my time meeting and dating new women rather than playing with filters and security settings on Facebook.

What About these Techniques for Meeting Women on Facebook?

There are a lot of articles online about meeting women on Facebook. One method I have heard other guys recommend is to friend request women you’re not interested in with the intention of meeting her friends that you are interested in.

This method can work, but once again, it’s a lot more work than just meeting women on dating sites. Also, if you become the guy who only talks to women when you want to meet one of their friends, you quickly become the “creepy, desperate Facebook guy.”

And to keep up with a bunch of women you’re not interested in just to have access to their friends, well, doesn’t that just seem like a backwards way of getting what you want?

Why not just talk to the women you’re interested in to begin with?

Another method I have heard some guys use for meeting women on Facebook is by becoming the social hub who plans parties and other meet ups. The goal is to meet attractive women by getting them to come to your parties.

That is so much more work than is necessary to meet attractive women, not to mention, just because you get a woman to your party doesn’t mean you’re going to be the one chatting her up.

However, if you’re in college, or the type to throw a party every week, this method might be worth trying to see if it opens some doors for you.

The Bottom Line

This article was a long way of saying if you’re looking to meet women online, dating sites are the place you should spend most of your time, not Facebook.

If you have had some success meeting women on Facebook, by all means, keep using it.

But I highly recommend you try some dating sites too. I’m guessing you’ll be pleasantly surprised by how much easier and faster it is to move the interaction offline on dating sites versus Facebook.

Brandon Duran

Getting responses to your emails allows you to get phone numbers, and once you get phone numbers you’ll be able to get dates. Getting responses your emails is what gets the ball rolling.

Let’s start at the beginning.

Here’s a scenario for you:

You’ve spent hours looking over tens of women’s profiles online and have found a woman that is both beautiful and sounds like she has her life together. She doesn’t sound clingy, she works out often, she has a great job, and she sounds really happy about her life, so you decide to email her.

You read her profile over and over looking for the best angle to start your email. By the time you’re finished writing the email and revised it 20 times, another hour has passed.

You believe the time crafting that one email was well spent because it is funny and, based on her profile, is exactly what she said she wants in a guy. You think she will definitely respond.

You hit the Send button and go grab something to eat.

A half-hour later you come back and log back into the dating site. She hasn’t read your email let alone replied to it. “No problem,” you think, “she hasn’t even had a chance to see it.”

You check the dating site before you go to bed and she still hasn’t read it.

You check the site again in the morning when you get to work (or school) and she hasn’t read it yet.

You log back in when you get home for the day and she still hasn’t read your email yet.

Two days go by and she finally read your email, but she still hasn’t responded.

You hold out hope for a few more days but slowly come to the realization she is not going to respond.

This whole process – where you spend hours crafting emails and women don’t respond to them – repeats itself over and over until you are completely frustrated with online dating.

Let’s get to the root issue why women don’t respond to your emails.

Why Women Don’t Respond to Your Emails

Online dating seems like a great invention. Thousands of single women in every major city have all gathered in one place to let guys know they are single and want to mingle.

But if those women don’t respond to emails, why do they even waste their time signing up for dating sites? Is it just for attention? Is it to tease guys?

Just because a woman is ready to meet and date new guys doesn’t mean all of her standards go out the door. Every woman has a picture of a guy she wants to meet and date just as every guy has preferences for the women he is interested in.

Having said that, many women are open to meeting many different types of guys (see Women’s Secret Fantasy Guy).

But even though most women have a range of guys they are attracted to, the guys still have to attract them.

So the logical deduction is if a woman doesn’t respond to your emails, that you haven’t attracted her (enough).

There are also times when a woman won’t respond to your emails based on something you said in your profile or emails that turned her off. A good example of this is being negative. Negativity is universally unattractive.

So the starting point at getting a woman to respond to your emails is to attract her.

How to Get Women to Respond to Your Emails

The most effective and easiest way to attract women that you have control over on dating sites is with humor. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: If you can make a woman laugh and move the interaction forward, you will never go dateless again.

If you don’t know how to make women laugh, see How To Make Women Laugh Even If You’re Not Funny.

To give you an example of the kind of humor that attracts women online, here is an email I wrote and used a few years ago that was effective at getting responses:

===========================================

I emailed you a few days ago and never heard back from you.

I’m guessing you were on a flying squirrel hunting expedition
and your bag was only big enough for your blow-dart gun and
two bologna sandwiches, so you didn’t have access to the
internet.

Since you made it back safely from your trip, we should talk.
Let’s get together for a drink.

Brandon [your name]

===========================================

The above email should be used only as a starting point. I recommend split testing your emails to get more responses.

I got the inspiration to write that email from Dave M. of Insider Internet Dating. Some of his information is pretty valuable and I plan to do a full review on his product in an upcoming article.

If a woman doesn’t respond to the above email, try another approach in your third email, but it still needs to be funny.

Three emails is the stopping point for me. If I have sent a woman three emails and she hasn’t responded, I will not send her anymore emails.

I have experimented with sending women more than three emails, but I always find those women are very difficult to connect with on the phone and in person.

I believe the reason for that is because they were never very attracted to me in the first place. Those women simply decided to give me their number because my emails were much better than the crap other guys were sending.

When to Send This Email

I would send the above email to a woman after she didn’t respond to my first email.

Give a woman a chance to respond to your first email before sending the above email though.

If you send a woman an email and she doesn’t respond, wait three days before sending her another email. For example, if you sent a woman an email on Wednesday night, and she didn’t respond, wait until Saturday to send her another email.

In conclusion, in this article we discussed what to do to get women to respond to your emails. I gave you a word-for-word email that has worked well for me in the past at getting responses from women.

But remember, this email is just a starting point. Look at the structure of the humor and use it develop your own emails. Split test it against emails you create and over time you will start getting more and more responses to your emails.

On more thing, realize that you will not get every woman to respond to your emails. Online dating is a numbers game, just like any other venue for meeting women.

But you can make online dating a smart numbers game by using proven material, like the email above, and split testing to get better responses. It’s up to you make that happen now.

In fact, why don’t you make your own email to test against the one I gave you, and then split test them tonight to see which emails pulls more responses?

Brandon Duran

As opposed to real life, online it can be a little bit harder to determine if a woman is of the caliber you’re looking for because women can include only pictures they look good in while omitting the ones showing how they really look.

What’s a guy to do though? How can you know what kind of woman you’re really emailing?

The easiest and most direct way to know for sure what kind of woman you’re emailing is to ask her for more pictures. If you have even a hint you’re talking to a woman who is bigger or less attractive than her pictures show her to be, it is a very good idea to ask her for more pictures.

Some women think it’s rude for a man to ask for more pictures on dating sites. That’s interesting considering how many women have hundreds of pictures on their Facebook profiles.

It is absolutely not rude to ask women for more pictures on dating sites. It’s perfectly reasonable to want to learn more about somebody before meeting them in person.

Let’s talk about when you do need to ask women for more pictures.

The Photo Trick to Watch Out For

The big red warning light goes off in my head when I see a very pretty face in multiple profile pictures but no body shots, or a body shot where she is hidden behind a bunch of other people.

Think about that for a second. You have a woman with a beautiful face who knows she is beautiful by the very fact she has five or six great shots of her face, and then she all of a sudden forgets to include body shots? Uh, no, that doesn’t happen unless there is something else going on.

A woman that has a good or even average body will show it off by including a few pictures of it in her profile. Many women with so-so (or even big) bodies will also include a body shot or two, and I applaud those women for owning that because it’s not necessarily bad, depending on what you’re in to.

But women who hide their bodies get no respect from me because they waste my time. Women expect men to be honest in their profiles, and it’s just as fair to expect women to be honest too.

If you come across a woman who has a lot of face shots, but who doesn’t have any body shots, you might want to ask her for more pictures if you decide to email her.

When to Ask for More Pictures

Asking a woman for more pictures in your first email is pretty silly. The odds of a woman sending you more pictures in that scenario are slim to none.

The best to time to ask a woman for more pictures is after she responds to your first email. You could then ask for additional pictures while you’re asking her other questions. That makes it seem less confrontational.

After asking women for more pictures, I have had women post additional pictures to their profile where they did indeed have a good body, and I’ve had women post pictures where I wasn’t attracted. Either way, I respect those women for being upfront.

There have been times when I have asked women for additional pictures and I never heard back from them. So what.

If a woman doesn’t respect my time enough by posting additional pictures to her profile or sending them to me by email, she is not a woman I’m willing to continue emailing or spending anymore time on.

Disclaimer

It is not my intention to offend anyone with this article nor do I believe every woman needs to be in contest shape to be attractive.

I have written this article only to save you time on dating sites. If this one simple tactic can prevent you from wasting your time by meeting up with a woman you’re not attracted to because she doesn’t look like her pictures, all the better.

Brandon Duran

Confidence is pretty easy to demonstrate on dating sites and I’ll talk about that in a future post, but humor is the most effective tool to meet women online, so that’s what we’re going to talk about now.

Fortunately, it’s possible to make women laugh on dating sites even if you’re not funny.

Making women laugh is powerful because it relaxes them and demonstrates you would be fun to hang out with in real life, rather than being nervous or weird when you meet a woman in person.

Most guys get extremely nervous around women they are attracted to, so when you demonstrate you can be trusted not to be nervous or weird, that could be all it takes to get a woman to give you her number and then agree to meet up with you.

If you focused only on making women laugh and then guiding the interaction to the next level (meaning first getting a response, then getting her number, then getting a date, and so on) each time you talked to women, you would meet more women than you would ever have time to date. Period.

How to Make Women Laugh Even if You’re Not Funny

I’ve always been able to make my friends and coworkers laugh, but I wouldn’t say I’m a very funny guy. However, I have found ways to be funny at the right times to get me to the next level with women, and I want to share with you two ways I do that.

The first way is to use ‘tested’ humor. Since you were a kid, and through your adult life, you have had experiences that later turned into stories that have always gotten laughs from friends, coworkers, women you were on dates with, etc.

Find ways to incorporate your funny stories into what you do online. Those stories have been tested over and over and they have always been able to make people laugh, and they will probably make women on dating sites laugh too.

How you present the joke online might be a little different, but you can still usually find a way to insert the punch line and get the laugh.

Use good judgment with the stories you share, at first anyway. Using gross or sexual humor can turn off a woman who hardly knows you rather than making her laugh.

Over time and from experience you will figure out where the line is between making a woman laugh hysterically and making you look like a jackass. The sooner you find that line, the better, so don’t be afraid to experiment.

How to Make Women Laugh – Tactic Two

The second way to make women laugh even if you’re not funny is by commenting on patterns that most people notice but don’t really think about. The key is to playfully make fun of those patterns. This might sound a little confusing, so let me give you an example.

On Plenty of Fish a lot of people have pictures in their profiles of just one eyeball. It sounds really stupid, but it’s true. For some strange reason some people think it’s cool or shows off their eyes, but it ends up just looking creepy.

If you have ever used Plenty of Fish you know there is a row of pictures that link to different people’s profiles at the top of most screens. Imagine for a moment that you scan those pictures and see various faces smiling back at you and then there is one eyeball just glaring at you. That’s just CREEPY!

You could find many ways to joke about that in your profile or emails. An easy way might be simply mentioning all of “creepy eyeball pics” or that you prefer pictures that show a woman’s whole face rather than just seven pictures of one eyeball – no matter how nice her eyes may be.

A gold mine for recognizing patterns and then cracking on them is on Craigslist “Best Of.” I gave a great example of a profile that was featured in Craigslist’s “Best Of” in a previous article. The guy who wrote that profile did a fantastic job of twisting patterns in women’s profiles into funny material for his own profile. You can do the same thing to make women laugh, and it’s pretty easy once you learn how it’s done.

Making Women Laugh on Dating Sites is Even Easier than Making Them Laugh in Real Life

The thing I like most about making women laugh online is I can take as long as I need to craft the perfect joke for my profile or email.

If you’re like me, you often think of the perfect zinger or punch line three minutes too late, when it’s not funny anymore. With online dating sites, you don’t have that problem because you can take as long as you need.

Over time you can create a hysterical profile or emails that get women to respond or even make the first move.

If you send out stock or canned emails (which I recommend because it saves you a lot of time) you can continue refining your emails to make them more effective.

As women respond to your canned emails, you’ll probably find that many women respond in the same way. This allows you to make your emails funnier by preempting what other women will say or think when they read your emails.

Here’s an example: You might have heard of the canned joke in the pick up community where you ask a woman what she wanted to grow up to be when she was a little girl, and then you immediately say, “And don’t say princess.”, before she has a chance to answer.

Even if a woman didn’t want to be a princess when she was a little girl, it’s still funny. You can do the same thing with your emails by preempting what a woman will say or think in response to you.

A Few More Tips for Injecting Your Emails with Humor

How you tell a story or joke can make all the difference in determining if it’s funny or not. Split testing multiple ways to get to the punch line is a great way to find the funniest angle for the joke.

Often times you don’t have to use a completely different approach when telling the joke; just a few extra words or even less words can really amp up the humor of a story.

If you don’t know how to split test your emails and profile, you can find some more information here – How to Get Women To Email You Back.

I also recommend eliminating unnecessary words to make your stories flow better. This usually makes your emails and profile easier and faster to read, which is always good because it’s so easy to get distracted online.

In conclusion, it’s pretty easy to make a woman laugh, even if you’re not very funny. And when you can make a woman laugh, you greatly increase the chances of getting her to respond to your emails and then give you her number.

I’ve given you enough tips in this article to improve your profile and emails. Invest a few minutes right now to make some changes to your profile and emails. It could make all the difference in how many responses you get on dating sites.

Brandon Duran

Most guys do the opposite though; they lower their standards. Lowering standards only makes sense when you acknowledge most guys don’t feel like they can get the women they are most attracted to.

This article will show you how to raise your standards in a way women find irresistible, which in turn will help you meet and date hotter women, even if you currently think they are out of your league.

Having High Standards Makes You More Attractive To Women

Most beautiful and emotionally healthy women are not attracted to guys who have low standards in terms of the women they date.

Women view men who have high standards as confident, and therefore attractive.

For guys who have high standards, a woman has to bring more to the table.

That means in addition to being physically attractive a woman might have to be smart, have her life together, be in great shape, be financially independent, etc., depending on what the particular guy is looking for.

The key is women have to work a little harder to win over guys with high standards, which creates a challenge for women.

Because most guys become door mats the moment an attractive woman shows them any attention, a guy that challenges her immediately differentiates him in her mind in a good way.

People in general, and especially most women, want what they can’t have. Most people don’t respect what they don’t have to work for. Having high standards is one way to show a woman she can’t have you, unless of course she exceeds your standards and plays by your rules.

Imagine for a minute two guys who are about equal in looks, income, height, etc., but with one big difference – one guy is quickly won over by the women he dates while the other guy seems to have little tests or standards women must pass before he accepts them.

In other words, for the first guy, women can tell after just a phone conversation or a date or two that he is really into them. In essence, those women won him over simply by being present.

For the other guy, rather than being satisfied with a woman after just a date or two, he makes her work a little harder to prove herself. Simply spending time with him isn’t enough to win him over.

Which guy do you think will be more attractive to the women he dates?

It should be very obvious that when a woman has to work for something she will appreciate it more. Given the above scenario, the first guy will quickly lose his women to the second guy.

Women Don’t Apologize For Having High Standards

On average, women are much more selective with the men they date than men are about the women they date.

The interesting thing about this is women don’t feel guilty or apologize for expecting more from the men they date.

For example, Match.com recently published an article discussing how some women feel about the amount of money a man earns.

Here is a comment from a woman named Haley who was interviewed in the article:

“My current boyfriend pays for everything and I think I make more than he does, but I like it that way because it feels romantic, caring and chivalrous. Dating a man without money is really tough because you end up paying for everything and that wears on you after awhile.”

The part of Haley’s comment that really stuck out to me was she doesn’t want to pay all the time because she feels that it “wears on you after awhile,” but she is perfectly fine with her boyfriend paying all the time.

I’m not judging Haley’s view one way or the other. I include it only to show a woman who doesn’t apologize for one trait she wants in a man.

In the same article, Liz said, “Guys without money to burn need to work a little harder.” This is just another example of a woman stating what she wants, and making no apology for it.

As a guy, you too, are allowed to set your standards anywhere you want without apology or guilt.

Women aren’t going to judge you for having high standards (it’s not their place to tell you what you should want or deserve), but you will be more attractive to many women simply by having high standards. That’s makes having high standards a win-win for you.

The Most Effective Way To Demonstrate That You Have High Standards For Women

There are many ways to demonstrate you have high standards for the women you date. The major difference is whether the way you communicate your standards makes you more or less attractive to women.

Simply barking orders at women and telling them how and what they should be to please you will only make you look like a jackass and turn women off.

However, when you convey, in a charming way, that you expect more from women than just a pretty face, it triggers attraction in women, even if you’re not their type.

One of the most effective ways to communicate you have high standards in a charming way is by using humor.

I do this is in my profile by listing a few “deal breakers” but wording them in a funny way that many women find charismatic.

For example, I am turned off by women who shave their eyebrows off and then paint them on with makeup. Disgusting! Here is one way I have addressed this in my profile with humor:

If your only emotion is SURPRISE!! because you paint your eyebrows on, I’m not your guy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking for a drama queen, but I want to know when you’re happy too, and a smile with crazy eyebrows just doesn’t go together.

Contrast that with, “Chicks with painted-on eyebrows gross me out!” That just doesn’t have the same charm.

Another way to charismatically demonstrate you have high standards is to state what you’re looking for in multiple ways without saying it directly.

For example, if you like only very skinny or very physically fit women, rather than saying “No Fat Chicks!” in your profile, you could say something like:

I believe in keeping myself in great physical shape and am looking for a woman who does the same. I go to the gym pretty consistently, but I know there are a lot of women who just have great genes. Either option works for me!

These are just a few ways you can demonstrate your high standards in a way that increases a woman’s attraction toward you rather than turns her off. There are many other ways to do this just as effectively.

In this article we discussed why women are attracted to men who have high standards. By demonstrating you have high standards, and communicating those standards to women in a charming way, you will attract hotter women.

Find a few places in your profile where you can demonstrate you have high standards for the women you date using the tips I gave you in this article. Let me know how it goes or if you’re having trouble with how to word something in particular.

Brandon Duran