The short answer is it comes down to whether you’re interested in her or not. If you are, then contact her. If not, simply delete her email.

I have emailed and went on dates with women who I knew would be trouble based on what they had in their profile. But I was physically attracted enough to email those women anyway. I had some good times with a few women and wasted my time with many others.

In your case this woman emailed you, which means she is interested in you. I wouldn’t worry about you not fitting the criteria in her profile because by emailing you she has implied you bypassed her initial screening.

Regarding her not wanting a relationship (based on what she said in her profile) I would say that is probably bullshit. Nearly every single woman I have ever met in my life would get into a relationship even if the timing weren’t perfect as long as it was with the right guy.

In other words, if you two hit it off she would very likely be interested in a relationship with you. Don’t worry about that though. Focus first on having a great first date (if you’re interested in her).

The question you have to ask yourself is if taking a chance on this woman is worth your time. If you haven’t been on many dates recently, you would probably learn a lot (about women and yourself) by going out with her even if things didn’t work out.

If it were me, and I was attracted to her enough, I would probably take the chance by taking her out. On the other hand, if she sounds like a complete basket case in her profile I would just delete her email, regardless of how attracted I was.

If you decide to take her out, let me know how it goes. Good luck, man.

Brandon Duran

I need your advice. I was contacted by a Miss Deal Breaker, but I don’t fit the criteria on her page. She is not looking for a relationship, but I am. She should know that if she read my profile, lol. I must admit it is a little confusing. She’s attractive and older than me. I’m thinking she’s looking for a poor naive soul to use and abuse. Am I right?

First, good job on taking action. Most guys would have just sat back and let the opportunity float by only to go home and complain about not having any dating options.

To summarize your situation you essentially said you got a woman’s number with the intention of going out that night, you texted her, and then she didn’t get back to you. So your question was if you should text her again to ask her out.

The answer to that question is, no, do not ask her out again; not yet anyway. If you were to ask her out in person she might agree only to later flake on you. If you ask her out by text you’re likely going to get the same response as before, which was no response.

The best thing to do at this point is to give her a reason to want to go out with you.

It sounds like she was initially attracted to your looks or your look, which was why she gave you her number in the first place. At that point you got straight to the point and asked her out, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. However, it does become a problem when a woman flakes right away. (Women flake for a variety of reasons and that’s a topic much too big to cover here, but I’ll cover it in a future post.)

If a woman flakes on you, you’re going to have to do something different to get a different response from her. In other words, if you ask a woman out and she never gets back to you, asking her out again is unlikely to get her to go out with you. Sometimes it will work, but it is definitely the exception rather than the rule.

Let’s get back to giving her a reason to want to go out with you.

Fortunately you have two ways to contact this woman: during your lunch hour when you go by her store and you also have her number.

You said when you see her at the store she acts like you never asked her out. Act the same way as her, but continue moving the interaction forward. In this situation that would mean joking around with her and conversing with her like you’ve known her forever. That doesn’t mean treat her like your sister or friends, it just means don’t act weird or formal around her. Be comfortable and playfully joke around with her.

You can also joke around with her through text the same way. Joke around about seeing a girl that could be her twin and how she was doing something crazy or telling her a quick punch line that somehow relates to her or the store she works at.

The point of joking around with her and making her laugh through your in-person interactions or text is to get her to invest in you. Just go for a little bit at first. Go for a laugh. Then go for another laugh. Then maybe ask her a question that gives her a chance to invest more by talking. This may happen over a period of a few days or it could happen in just one interaction. Be cool with both situations.

After you have gotten her to invest more in you and she is more comfortable with you, tell her about something cool you’re doing. Build it up a little bit too. (This should be something fun but inexpensive.) Then say something like, “Hey, you should come. It’s going to be a blast! You want to go?” Then shut up, keep eye contact, and let her respond.

The only two options you want to hear are, “Yes, what time should we meet up?” or “I can’t that night, but what about the next night?” If you hear anything else she is likely not interested or playing games and the best thing to do is move on to the next woman.

This isn’t the way I would go about meeting women in general because it is much too time consuming. But in this case since you’ve already talked to her multiple times, she gave you her number, and you’ll see her again, it is worth your time to invest a little more in her using the method I outlined above.

Give it a try and let me know how it goes.

By the way, I definitely recommend talking to other women at the same time as you’re talking to this woman. The old saying “feast or famine” is so true with women. The more women I’m talking to at the same time, the easier it is to get women out on dates. When I’m focused on only one woman, my chances are much worse that I’ll be able to get her out.

The more women you talk to at the same time, the more comfortable and confident you get and women pick up on that and respond positively to it. Once a woman proves she’s worth your time, then you can focus more of your time on only her.

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